Still Figuring It Out.............

I'm not quiet sure where I am now. ..spiritually that is. Physically, I'm at my Uncle's crib for the doa selamat tonight, cousin Wana is flying back to UK soon to finish off the remaining 2 years of her pilot training course in Aberdeen. Lucky las! Anyway, as I was saying, there's something not right going on with me now. I mean everything is all right but I feel there's something missing and I'm still figuring it out. It feels like I've drifted away from my true self. What exactly is my true self? I'm still figuring that out as well. Not much of a help huh! But it feels like most things that I did since the beginning of this year is not what the true me will do. There's so much that has been happening lately and it kinda change my view on life. But its good to find few supports that doesn't judge me, lean in their shoulder for me to 'cry on' and provides a sense of sanctuary from the troublesome others. It feels extra nice to find it from people you less expected. I feel there is a need for a change but I don't know what exactly. So shall there be a lot of experimenting? What works and what doesn't. Its like i don't know what my priorities are anymore. Though I always kept in mind that top priority will always have to be family.

I read an article on how to be happy? on the net. It concerns more on the personal development and something else that I can't remember. No, I'm not unhappy just lost. Anyhow, it got me into thinking maybe I'm feeling like this cos there's unfinished business that needed to be done. Like something that I ignored purposedly or refused to deal or whatever. Though I might not care, I really don't give a damn about these things but then again maybe it these little things that making me miserable. Cos you know, when you have so many unfinished business it tends to catch up with you sooner or later. If this doesn't work then I don't know what the hell is wrong with me nowadays. But one thing that keeps popping up is that, I've been drifting away from my true self for a very very long time. If I'm right, and I hope I am,then its a long and winding road back but I'm willing to take that chance.

Maybe its the right time to be......