There's Always A Silver Lining

Everybody hates to lose. It's human nature that we simply hate losing. Not only to lose something or someone means its taken away from us physically, it also leaves us with a void emotionally. This void, no matter how small it can be, is like a black hole, pulling and draining everything into it, everything including what's good.

However, to lose something or someone might do us some good especially when it's something meaningful or someone we dearly love. It keeps us in check with our genuine emotion, how we truly feels. Because trust me, emotions can be superficial sometimes. Moreover, losing makes us appreciate things more. It teaches us to be more thankful and sincere. How does one understand and appreciate what happiness is if one's never hurt right? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Is there any way to find out if it's real.......

It Goes Nowhere....

People has been exhausting me lately. There's so many to attend to. I'm not complaining (or maybe I am but it's not like I hated them for that or anything). It's just that, I feel like I'm constantly on the move, I need to pause for a bit. I'm used to giving attention but it is usually to one or at least two person, and not simultaneously. But now, it's like they are all asking for it at the same time. Not that they blurted out 'I need your attention' right to my face. But I'm sure you know what I meant.

All these makes me want to stand still for a while. Take a break. Be on my own and attend to myself once in a while. Makes me think, all these attention giving, have I ever attend to my needs. Does anyone out there care what I want for a change? I think not! Or maybe there are someone but not those I expected. Which now makes me selfish. Hmm again! The irony of life. Unlucky me.

Somewhere I read that 'If you can't say what you mean, don't get surprised if people don't do what you want'. Does that makes me the problem then? :/

To be like a river that flows,
silent through the night,
not fearing the darkness and
reflecting any stars high in the sky.
-Manuel Bandeira

You didn't take a fall for me.........

Life's A School

I learnt that it takes time to experience something meaningful. I learnt that it takes time to appreciate something as well. I learnt that everything is not what it seems like. I learnt that we'll get more if we dig deeper or just leave it be (whichever works the best). I learnt that things can be done as an act of pure love (or hate!!). I learnt that love is not a good enough reason (or maybe it is! depending how it turns out for you) I learnt that pride has to be put to a good use or it can destroy you. I learnt that second chances are rare. I learnt that some people just never learn, and when they do, it's always too late. Most importantly, I learnt that we are after all, only human.

As The Sun Sets

It's about time to start a new chapter......

//edited PS. I so love this picture taken yesterday (monday) using my Sony Ericsson W660i. Cool or what. SiGh!!

Leave Something Behind......

"I take her with me, wherever I go......" was the last sentence of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. I must say, I didn't expect the book to be so moving and heartbreaking (if that's the right word but I certainly felt that way). Thanx Nur for recommending the book. Seems that you do know what I like and not like. Or are we simply similar? Huhu! :p

I don't have anything thoughtful (ehem! Uhuks!) to say tonight. I'm still recovering from the aftermath, for finally reaching the conclusion of the book.

There never is the right and easy way.......

Quotomatic Machine: Love

Love has all the lasting permanence of a rainbow - beautiful while it's there, and just as likely to have disappeared by the time you blink.

-My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picoult

In The Eye Of The Hurricane

I'm going through a calmer phase of life. Funny. With everything that have been going on, peace keeps me company. I'm truthfully grateful that I'm able to see things in a positive perspective. This inner peace is long overdue and it couldn't have come at a better time. A friend asked, "How can you act as if nothing happened?" Honestly, I don't know. Maybe, like myself, some people are misunderstood. Then again, I don't want to rationalise them. They should take responsibility for themselves. As for me, I've learnt that things happened and some things are beyond our control. So, we just have to live with it, like dealing with a headache, we take our medication and let it work its way. Pain or no pain, I've done my part.

Things cannot be undone but we can make it better...........

Of All Things......

Just as I thought that it has ended, a very very long time ago, it reappears and numbs me. It's like am I supposed to feel flattered, or otherwise? I don't know really. Why now? Why when I was getting use to missing it all? Humph!

Are you planning to stay or just dropping by?

Quotomatic Machine: Lesson

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth."

-Anonymous

Like A Flowing River

"A river never passes the same place twice," says a philosopher. 'Life is like a river," says another philosopher, and we draw the conclusion that this is the metaphor that comes closest to the meaning of life. Consequently, it is always good to remember during all the year to come.

We are always doing things for the first time.
While we move between our source (birth) to our destination (death), the landscape will always be new. We should face these novelties with joy, not with fear - because it is useless to fear what cannot be avoided. A river never stops running.

We are one.
We were born in a place that was meant for us, which will always keep us supplied with enough water so that when confronted with obstacles or depression we have the necessary patience or strength to move forward.

-Paulo Coelho

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You're Hiding.....

Things are getting out of hand. Isn't that great? It's harder when others get themselves involved in the situation. When you, the centre of it all, left insignificant.

There'll be more bitter days to come. When things were just about to get right, the past reappears. Its ghost will not rest. They will not let it escape, not without punishments anyway.

Maybe some things are better left unattended.......

Million Little Pieces

Yesterday, note its past midnight now, was no ordinary day. A lot has been happening. I guess everything happens for a reason. And I'm trying to figure out what good reason will come out of these. Some things get out of hand that its not my call anymore. Unfortunately!

We mostly act on our emotional stupidity. Yes! It's stupid to follow our emotion sometimes. Things get either over exaggerated or underrated. Some people are blinded to see how their acts affect other people. Yes! They are selfish that way. And yes! Some people will never learn. It's heartbreaking and dissapointing really but we can only do so much. The rest is up to them, or else we just need to pack our things and fled the scene. No matter how heavy our steps are, it needs to be done. It has to. We need to. We just need to accept the fact that some things are beyond mending.

"Can you help me? It's broken"
"How did you break it?"
"I trusted someone. Can you fix it?"
"I'm sorry I can't help"
"Why not?"
"It's broken into a million little pieces"

It was everything to me..........

The Reason

When your existence in this world is due for a purpose, a soul reason, that when it is done, there's nothing left for you but the end.

We always seek to find a reason because nothing is unsatisfying...........

Pain Is The Absence Of Every Good Thing.

If a person really wants to do something, they would have already done it. So when you expect someone to do something, that you expected them to do, something they promised they would do and still they didn't. Then..................they don't really want to do it. Maybe it's not that important to them after all. Maybe, you are not that important to them after all. Something to think about huh?

It's stupid to fight over nothing........

I'm Sorry I'm Not As Perfect As You Wanted Me To Be

I am many things. And one of them is commitment phobic. I have a fear of commitment. I guess I have my valid reasons. And don't argue! Its valid! Anyway, I don't have any specific point for my claim above. I just want to come clean with myself. To embrace my fear, to acknowledge my flaws and maybe try to fix it. To be a better person and to feel good with myself.

It's not I wanted to be a commitment phobic. It just happens to be that way. It has been proven many times that I am. I didn't mean to do it intentionally. I didn't mean to hurt people along the process. I had no control of the demon inside me. The one that constantly tells me to go away, leave! because its getting more and more suffocating. But I'm aware that people got hurt along the way, and I can't offer them any good reasons. Because a fear of commitment shouldn't be a reason at all. But it is for me, sadly.

I don't expect you to understand because I could never understand it myself. It's like a disease that won't go away and I have gotten used to it. There's nothing much I can do about it really. I mean, how do you fix a commitment phobic? One might say, it will change when I found the right person to commit to. But I don't think so, because the issue is not about the other person. The issue is about me. I am a commitment phobic, this is who I am. I'm sorry, I'm not as perfect as you wanted me to be.

"Intimacy is a four syllable word for 'Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy'. Its both desired and feared. Difficult to live with and impossible to live without" - Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

I thought I found the remedy but I was wrong.........

The Mind

'When we are completely overwhelmed by our emotions, we become the sum total of our thoughts, rather than the instigator and controller of them. To stop this, the mind must be stilled, all thoughts put on hold. To rediscover that our thoughts are under control is incredibly liberating and empowering. Taking control enables us to see things as they really are, without being hindered by associative thoughts, and allows us to respond more appropriately, because our response is direct, based on the here and now'

-Understanding Cancer-

Just Another Day....

"Another day gone......a day closer to fate...Soon you'll find its a lil' bit too late"

Stolen from Nur's e-mail haha :)

The Way You Want It To Be......

Often, one man dreadest fear is another man greatest needs. The world works simply that way. Irony is the name of its game.

We hope for miracle everyday, yet we refuse to work for it. It's like looking for something at the same place over and over again. Well, if it is not there why do we keep coming back? Why do one keep doing the same mistake over and over again? Stupidity? Hopefulness? Take your pick. If it is not there the first time, and even the second time, surely it is never ever going to be there.

There is a saying. It states: 'Shame on you, if you fool me once; Shame on me, if you fool me twice' Well, what about the third and maybe the fourth time? Isn't that just insane?

Some are too afraid to let go. They rather be in that so called 'comfortable zone'. They see greener grass on the other side and yet they are still on their side, standing still on the peebled road hoping for grass to grow there too. Heh! Good luck on that!

The right thing is the last thing you want to do........

Breaking Point

There's a point in your life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. But it's not giving up. It's realising that you don't need certain people, the bullshit and the drama they bring.

No one waits forever........

Cut Some Slack

Edna St Vincent says, it's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.

I totally agree! Haha! Individuals make choices. Whatever choices we made, we have to live with it. We can't blame others if they moved on. We can't expect people to fight for us when we, ourself, are not fighting. Even worse, when we make it difficult for them to do so.

In reality, we expect people to pull themselves back to us when we push them away. Seldom, they left. They are not to be blamed.

Edited// I just noticed that my post are not related to d above quote. Haha oh well! They are related in a way, if, you know what's going on with me. Only a few people do and you should be honoured.

It never was my call......

My Virtual Life

Quotomatic Machine: Being Alive

You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act.

- Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

It's A Free Fall

Why do you do the things you do? Don't you think it's about time to take the plunge? Don't you ever think of the things you didn't do? The things that could have been? Don't you want to feel what it is like when you reach the bottom? Or are you comfortable with your castle in the sky?

Look at the things we missed........

Who Has The Answers?

Note: Excuse me if I'm not making any sense. I'm not even sure if I am......

How do we know if a relationship exists or not? How can we draw the line between its existance and non-existance? How do we know we are moving along that path? How do we know we love another? How do we know that we are there, together, not alone? How can we be sure of how we feel? How can we be sure it's permanent? How can we tell that it is pure? So many questions yet so little thoughts to answer. Not now anyway....

Love is a fragile yet complex matter. It's too fragile to grasp on and yet it's so powerful that we need to hold on to it tight.

When most things are left unspoken it's left to the heart to make out of it..............

Getting Forgetful.....

I had a weird dream this afternoon. I know its unhealthy to sleep after Asar but I swear I was so knackered. I doozed off actually. Hmm anyway, about the dream. It was weird cos it felt like I'm half awake, or maybe it was just there in my head or whatever. I can't recall exactly what it was about. All I know is it felt like I was compromising with something. Like I'm doing something to get something that fits me better.

And it felt so real like I was physically doing it. Or maybe I was half awake and imagined it all in my head. We all had this kind of dream dejavu kinda thing. But somehow I sense that the dream meant something, a clue for me to figure out what's right. I missed it. My lost! SiGh!

Take your chance, turn around and go.......

Restatement of Romance

The night knows nothing of the chants of night.
It is what it is as I am what I am:
And in perceiving this I best perceive myself

And you. Only we two may interchange
Each in the other what each has to give.
Only we two are one, not you and night,

Nor night and I, but you and I, alone,
So much alone, so deeply by ourselves,
So far beyond the casual solitudes,

The night is only the background of our selves,
Supremely true each to its separate self,
In the pale light that each upon the other throws.

-Wallace Stevens

In The Darkness, I Found Peace......

Do you know that stars always look brighter if you gaze at them from a darker place. The darker it gets, the more clearer and brighter they become. Isn't that just amazing? The dark is always associated with nothingness, an emptiness, and yet you can get something so beautiful out of it. How many of you noticed that? I guess it's true that, sometimes we find the best thing at the least expected place. We just need to pay a little more attention.

We could be looking at the same star.......

A Conversation One Afternoon

"I think....all the things that have happened were meant for us to end up here. This is as far as it gets"

"No further?"

"Nothing more"

"I don't know......."

"I do still appreciate you, our history, the present and future. It will be our keeping. It will always be the same if we let it be"

"I'm not sure if it will be...."

"It will be. I promise"

"I fear that you will ignore me...."

"If you were not you, I probably would, but you are already a significant part of me."

"I think you could, but you wouldn't"

"Shutting you out of my life is simply unimaginable. I don't think I can manage that myself"

"You remembered what I told you about obligations?"

"What's your point?"

"Maybe this is our obligation, to have this whatever is it now that we are experiencing, to be where we are now"

"You seem sure"

"We just have to trust what feels right. It does, doesn't it?"

Quotomatic Machine: Changes

"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up; it simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be."

Suffocated

Beware of plastics! Huhuhu

Life's Continuity Equation

Our lives are intertwined. Our actions do affect others no matter how insignificant it might seemed. That's just the way it is. There is no randoms in life. Everything happen for a reason. A reason that exists for something else to take place.

Your left is my right......

The Obsession...

Us, human, are too obsess with everything. We are too obsess with love, money, career, life and many other things. We are too obsess that we forgot how to live. We are too obsess to live that we forgot how to feel alive.

I know I am obsess with many things. And I know some of you know why I'm talking about this. The Zahir by Paulo Coelho. All I can say about the book is, it's so true! Anyway, I finished reading the book and there are many lessons to learn. I won't do the whole book review thing cos it's better if you read it yourself.

Anyhow, back to what I'm trying to say here is I learn that I am obsess with many thing one of which is something which I initially thought as being determined. I am obsess with getting control over everything I do, or everything that involves me. I get frustrated when things doesn't go my way. And I often wonder why? At one stage I thought it was karma but it is not exactly that. I do good things and I don't get the reward I expected.

And it's only recently I learnt that I can not expect to be fully rewarded. I am not the judge of my own effort. That is why I often find myself frustrated with almost everything.

So this is my take. In order to be content with everything, I need to look deep within me and start from the heart. It is the only way for this lesson to be purely learnt. It is always when we fully expect something that we get dissapointed. I'm not saying that we can not have full expectations on things. What I'm trying to say is that we have to be ready, to be content with things forthcoming no matter what they bring.

Time, has a game of its own.........

Absent of Love

'You are nobody, never even dare to think that you know more than we do. You are of no importance, you can do nothing right, your work is of no significance, but as long as you never challenge us, you will live a happy life. Always take what we say seriously and never laugh at our opinions' - The Law of Jante (The Zahir, Paulo Coelho)

It's not that I've ran out of words to say. It's not that I don't feel any emotions worth writing. It's only that I feel words of others speaks clearer than mine. Though, ironically, the above paragraph are not in any relation with how I'm feeling at the moment. Heh! Having too many thoughts does leave one clueless.

I'm sorry if I play too much game......

Dante's The Divine Comedy

'The day that man allows true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true'

The world will become real when man learns how to love; until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but will always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.

Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. - The Zahir, Paulo Coelho

We enjoy one hour of anxiety for every minute of peace........

Not The Right Person.....

'That is why it is important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are' - The Zahir, Paulo Coelho

At the end of the day, what does it matter?

It's Her Birthday

A star was born on this very date, 27 years ago. Happy birthday and thank you for being my strength. May you be blessed in every steps that you take. HuGs. Love you :)

The Wheel Rotates.....

Tomorrow is thursday and I have not prepare anything for my lectures for tomorrow, friday and saturday. Erkkk!! I'm still in a 'raya mood' which is not really a raya mood but thats just the fancy name I decided to name laziness this time around. So here I am stuck in the office trying to get into typing the first word on the slides but instead I'm here, posting my words away in this blog. The irony!

I need my space now.........

3rd Raya

With the usual crowd.

Expected: You

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Nappy Rash

Was at Pye's place playing Pictionary and raya visits of course. The above is a 'Nappy Rash' as drawn by Erda. What do you think it is?

All Eyes On Me........

I have a new addiction. And I'm loving it. I don't know why I'm so hooked. I guess it provides me the distraction I much needed. At least maybe it will help me to forget and get over something. In case I wanted to........

It's starting to bore me.......

My Priceless Loves....

I learnt a lesson yesterday, amidst the numbness I felt towards raya. During the raya visits, I found myself in a different world with the siblings. We talked, played, joked around, and laughed all the way towards the end regardless the fact that we were raya-ing and that we are not kids anymore.. The hosts n hostesses of the houses we visited acted as active audiences. And they too were laughing to our antics and jokes. It's rare to get all of us the sibs together in one place at the same time and so when it happens, it really is some moment to remember especially when my brother Adly is around. He's still a sweet cheeky little boy inside. Heh!

Anyway, the lesson learnt was that siblings are the best gift God ever give us. Of course there were fights and tears, but there were also hugs, kisses and laughters. We tend to take them for granted, the people we love the most especially when you see them everyday. We ask yourself, 'What's new?'. Well, there's always something new if we open up and embrace the moment as if it's our last. Isn't that the point of living at all? To live to the fullest, try everything, be brave, be fragile and be happy. All we need is to give people a chance to show what they are capable of. And we'll be surprised to see what impact they have to our life.

I'm glad for yesterday, I truly am. I see the siblings in a more positive colours and I love them more now. Alhamdulillah!

Don't be afraid to what you are......

A Blessing......

The dusk closes the curtain of Ramadhan bringing in the face of Syawal. Tired and hunger faces are now carved with smiles and sparkles. The festive season is here again. An auspicious time to seek forgiveness and rekindle love among family and friends. I'm not always a fan of Aidil Fitri. I guess I was too broken to ever experience the joyous moment I used to have. Enough said! I'm trying to get a new perspective. Searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.

All I need is a chance..........

Forgiveness Brings Inner Peace

'........Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves'

I so enjoy reading Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet In Heaven :)

Selamat hari raya people. Don't forget to forgive ;)

Comes Syawal...

I would like to wish my fellow readers, friends, family and all the Muslims out there....

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

Kalau ada yang termakan, terminum, terhutang, terambil, tergigit, terpigang please lah sedekahkan tia tarus. Kalau ada yang tersindir, terasa dgn senghaja atau tidak senghaja, terambil hati, jauh hati, kecil hati mohon maafkan. Baik tah bawa check hati atu ke hospital. Last but not least, berhati-hati lah semasa open house, jangan gelogoh makan. Pandu cermat jiwa selamat, BUCKLE UP. Wear your seatbelts.

Truly and Sincerely, Lynno

Losing Momentum...

I've done the first consultancy lecture for this term!! Come tommorow, if not raya, then I'll have to take the second class. So I'm hoping, really really hoping that it'll be raya tommorow. Hehe!

I've changed the layout colour of this blog, nothing much..same template different colour. I'm not really the type that deco nice, fancy, cute stuffs on things. For me, simplicity is a beauty. Heh! Apakan! So you know in case I come across as a boring person, I really am not! Seriously! It just happens that different things give us excitement.

You need to dig deeper and find it out yourself...........

What Matters...

It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have. What matters is who you have besides you.

And will you let me have you?

Going Through The Days....

Was playing around with this birth date thingy and this is what I got for yours truly born on the 21st day of the last month.

Your goal is to develop self mentally and spiritually. Your restlessness enables you to adapt to life's changing patterns. You have to differentiate between needs and wants. Benefits from the lesson offered by current situation than expecting tomorrow to solve your problems. Your search of new experiences can make you dissatisfied. Your ruling planet is Jupiter symbolises growth and wisdom and you can be an excellent teacher.

I knew it........

Between Needing and Living....

We often find our judgement wrong because we mostly follow what the heart wants. But what the heart wants is not necessarily what it needs. We want to believe that its right, without considering any other factors. So the heart is not always right. Then again, what else is a better judge and decision maker than the heart? The brain?

Well, one can argue that. But it is the brain that reconfirms what the heart wants and rarely disagree with it. And when both the heart and brain disagree, its always the heart that has the final say. We are often driven by our emotions rather than our cognition. We always say 'follow your instinct'. So there has got to be some truth in that.

When one's heart is experiencing a turmoil, its judgement is also affected. So how can we know its the right one (by what the heart really wants) or not? How can we trust our instincts now? How can we decide then?

The one person you can't live without........

Dream BIGGER!!

I'm so loving Jamie Scott and The Town's When Will I See Your Face Again. Its so classic with a modern touch. Nur! If you're reading this go download the song now! Now!! Haha majal. And download One Republic's Stop and Stare as well. Pokoknya, to whoever is reading this, go download the 2 songs mentioned. You won't regret it, nothing to lose anyway. Haha yes this is cheap publicity. But seriously! Go download now. Trust me! I have good taste in music and everything else! Hahahaha ;)

Raya is coming soon. I'm experiencing an urge to buy things but I don't know what exactly. I guess I'm in a mood to splash out some money. Siapa kan minta belanja laju tah, just wait for me at The Mall entrance 3pm tomorrow. Ha ha!

Someone sings 'you have to give more than you take'. I agree with him. I don't have a point to elaborate on here, not at the moment anyway. I only want to share what I found interesting. My sleepiness is taking its toll. Excuse me beautiful dreamers.

I've got my heart set........

Caught Up With Everything......

I'm sinking deeper and deeper. I'm just going with the flow. The flow though calm is flowing faster than I expected. Even then, I don't have a problem with the momentum. Its when it stop that I'll do. No matter how much I prepare myself for that moment, I'll never handle it well.

Insensitive and too analytical.......

Night Calm......

I have a feeling. I'm still trying to understand it. Its hard especially when I have my demons around. Heh!

I'm more settled now. Managed to put things back into place. At least for now. This peace of mind is long overdue.

Don't let it stop......

Quotomatic Machine: Teachers (1)

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

All Things Painful....

What hurts the most? Physical or emotional pain? My paralysing shoulder pain is back again. And when I said paralysing it really is that bad. I'm lying flat on d floor as I blog. Hehe doesn't seem to ease much of d pain. Gave dencorub every half an hour and that doesn't help much either. Humph! Kan nangis ku eh! Serious! I feel so helpless!

Last time I had this pain was more than 4 years ago back in Manchester. The english doctors were even dazed that no painkillers help. She almost gave me codaine to take for the pain but after discussion we decided not to. We don't want yours truly to be a junkie, do we now? Huhu so ended up taking co-codamol for the pain although it didn't help a lot but good enough to make one high *_*

We think we are great until we make mistakes.....

Love Can Not Be Wrong

I'm feeling a bit sluggish today. I was in an ok mood last night and I woke up feeling worse. Heh! The day is so far dull, adding to my fueling numbness. I'm just clueless again. The incompetence of me being caught up with too much thoughts.

Sungkai with Peng And Hana was really really fun yesterday. Went around the shops for a bit before heading to Swensens. Its always fun to chill and hang out with them. Conversation was always interesting as well. Went to Fleur d'Lys right after to have a cuppa and talk some more. We have little projects of our own which shall remain unknown forever and ever. Huehue! Right Hana? Good luck to us :)

There has to be a reason.....

Nothing to Say.........

Its one of those day where I'm feeling so incompetent.

Don't Let It End.....

Why settle for less when you can have more? I want more. There's no use turning back now. Might as well do it all the way. Doesn't matter what the end will bring. What matters is whether you are putting in enough effort or not. No regrets remember? :)

Once is good enough.........

Think Nothing!

I've been sitting in front of an empty post template for 15 minutes as I have run out of things to say. Or rather I chose not to talk about it here cos there's no point dealing with it now that I'm not at my best. I seriously am so clueless!

Something to think about..........

Life is a Cartoon

Too much happening yet nothing to say. Enjoy the cartoon impression of me.

When anger rises, think of the consequences.........

This morning, I woke up with so much anger. My tolerance level is being teased. The threshold of my patience is wearing thin. There'll be a day when I will not care anymore, a day that seems to come sooner than later. I doubt I'll have any regrets when it come. I don't know what I'm on about.

Oh before I go on further, Happy Birthday Nur!! May Allah bless you in whatever you do. Mutual acquaintances brought us as friends but that doesn't mean you are less appreciated :) Did you not get my sms or did you not?? Did you not?? Haha majal!

Anyway, I got so much to let out but I can't find the perfect way to. I don't think I'll ever find the right moment to do so. Isn't it just sad? To have something left unspoken, unattended but it still bugs you. It's like you are stuck there and then, unable to do anything. Unable to take charge of your life. Nothing can be done except to back off and watch the world goes by in front of you. And hope, sincerely hope that one day you will be where you want to be.

I feel like driving (golf) some time soon. Been wanting to go for ages, somehow I feel like I need to go. Then again its Ramadhan, early evening is just not possible. So what do you do?? What do you do??? Arghhhh mikin stress!!! *_*

The best way to kill a person is by breaking their heart..........

Soon You'll Find Its A Little Too Late

I've been very busy today. Spent the whole morning background reading on the afternoon lectures' topic. Didn't get the chance to sit idly in front of the pc. Didn't get to update the last post neither. OOoppsss!

I love Keira Knightley. I don't know why I just do. I know its totally random but who cares. I'm trying to divert my attention from writing grim, unclear, depressing stuffs which I'm agitating to write about. But enough is enough. For now though. Its so exhausting. I need a break. Will you give me a break? Cut me some slack? Will you? ;)

For once, what do you want?

On The Brighter Side of Day....

I need to do something with my wake-up time. Its sooooo not good!! Heeeee! Does that mean I have to do something with my bedtime too?? Haha! Oh well! I'm actually clueless on what to post today. I always have something to write when I'm feeling under the weather but when I'm in a calm peaceful mood not really. Hmmm...I'll figure out something to write later as for now I have a test to invigilate.

Love can not and will never be defined.

God Does Not Play Dice With The Universe

God is certain with everything. We aren't! We never do. We think we know what we are doing, the rational behind it. But we are always wrong if not most of the time.

It never is a fair cut..

The Game We Are Playing......

A plane crashed near my house last night...in my dream. Heh heh! But this is not the first time, had similar dreams twice already so this will be the third time. And it gets more and more real. Humph! Could it be some sort of a sign? Like my life is crumbling down in front of me and I'm not sensing it? Could it be my downfall?? The end of my dreams and hopes, the end of me perhaps?? Heh! I don't wanna think much about it. I've already had enough things to occupy my mind. Which btw, reminds me that I've been having plenty of dreams lately. Some were good, some were bad, but its always the bad one that overshadows the good one no matter how good it was. The plane crash dream doesn't fall neither in good or bad category, they are just intangible!

I've been feeling void these past couple of days. There's so much on my mind that I can't think anymore. Why do we take the long winding path to achieve something? Is it for the excitement? Is it for the journey? Or is it just us human, to make ourselves feel alive?

I found this verse on one of the emails. I thought it'll be nice to share only the good part. Hehe!

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

Ayte, I'll leave you beautifuls with that.

I'm going with the flow.........

Its Never Too Late To Do Something About It..............

SiGh!! Let the photos speak for itself. Will post more later as I'm running out of time. Toodles.....

//updated//
Paid a visit to the hospital again this morning to bring Lucy cos her abdomenal pain were still there and worse. Went home around 4.30 am, took a glass of water and sunk into bed. I was so knackered I slept til 11am. Haha took the afternoon lab and hung out with the boys at the lab office playing Winning Eleven. Lost 2 game but won one. Haha they underestimated the footballing skill of a lady. This will not be the last, you have been warned! Stayed til 3pm so its ok that I have something to occupy my time.

I don't want to be caught with my demons. Distraction is the key. Remember that! Ok I'm not making sense now. Heh! Excuse me.

The calm sea is brewing a storm..............

Where I Was 4am In The Morning.

The unfamiliar view of the RIPAS hospital in the early morning. Bet you don't see this that often. Haha

//edited// Yawn! It has been a very very long night yesterday. There's just so many things happening that all I want to do is to pause a bit and take a moment to ease :)

The light shining through.........

Ramadhan Stars

Sungkai with the stars and shooters.

Risky Business

The gurls and guy hung out at my crib last night.

In fact, Pye and Ann are still here playing Risk. Erda and bf left a while ago as she needed to go home before her parents woke up for sahur. The two gurls are staying til morning as its already too late to go home. So they are going to eat sahur with the family. Hehe! I could have been in bed already as earlier I had a horrible headache but Erda texted wanting to hang out at my place so here we are. Thank God its sunday!!

Ayte, I'm gonna get back to the game. Yours truly is kicking their ass real bad! Whehehe!

I'm still uncertain.......

Make The Nights Come Sooner....

Its somewhat breathtaking how your day can turn from good to bad in seconds. And I believed there's a series of events that lead to it. They go unnoticed. We might do one thing that seemed innocent then booomm! ur hit right on the face. Heh! Too dramatic? I think not! Its true really that for certain things to occur, there'll be series of events that lead to it. One event alone is not responsible for the main thing to occur. There has to be series of events that lead to the main one. Haha! majal jua aku atu ah! So here I am, with my thoughts alone, trying to figure out the significant events that lead me to where I am now. I still can't. And its killing me to not know.

I'm still at work, office hours is until 2pm but three of the colleagues went home already just because its saturday and its ECA day. Like there's gonna be any ECA during Ramadhan. Anyway, I asked them to stay but they wouldn't because they have ECAs to attend to. Uhuks! So here I am, not wanting to go home cos I rather keep myself occupied with other things than my thoughts. My thoughts are exhausting me!!

Looking for the finish line...........

The Lighter Days

Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to watch your back all the time. Someone to catch you when you fall. Someone who'll always be there for you no matter what. If others are willing to give up anything to have this why would one take it for granted? Just a thought! :)

Its back to work tomorrow. Somehow, I'm looking forward to it. I know! Seriously right! What the heck is wrong with me. Maybe its just me being caught in the spur moment of insanity. Haha!

You owe me the truth......

Uno Night

Something to get the night by.

Garden of The Heavens

Ramadhan is finally here again. Last night during terawih, I was at peace, eventhough it lasted there and then. Even if it was only for a few minutes of my day. I found myself with serenity. I'm seeking for it again tonight. InsyaAllah :)

Its funny how there are some things beyond our control but we still tried to work it out. We failed and failed again. We get our dissapointment. But we never stop trying. We couldn't stop trying could we? Thats just not human.

Already a part of me.......

All Over Again....

So the fasting season is going to start on thursday. Classes today was fun especially the last period. The students are fun with this group. I think I have a favourite group already hahaha bias!! Eh!! nada ku bias ah. Nothing wrong with having a favourite group jua. Bwoh!! defensive tia plang.

Coming up is another obscure thoughts so stay away if your depressed......heh heh heh!!

I wish I have an off button, where I can just use it a times like this. Where I can just wake up in the morning and not remembering anything. Like starting fresh all over. But we are human and thats not possible. I can't just reset everything to zero all over again. We remember, and memories hurt sometimes.

Take me to a place where disaster ends....................

Change Anything To Fit Everything....

I was reading Nur's site and found this beautiful quote. So I stole it or rather copy and paste it from her site cos I want to share it with you guys. Hehe boleh ah Nur! Its not ur quote anyway :p

“When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming a part of that person’s life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” from The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo.

It explains perfectly how I'm feeling at the moment. Funny how a complete stranger can describes how one exactly feel. I guess, thats how life works. People that you know may be a stranger to you and a stranger may feel like you've known them your whole life. 'm sorry if I don't make sense to you, I'm finding it hard to comprehend myself nowadays *crooked smile*

Today, the imams and their kuncus will be sighting the anak bulan Ramadhan, so puasa can start tomorrow or in case the moon is invisible then it will fall on Thursday. I'm so grateful its Ramadhan again, I really really am.

(Random rambling coming up.....)

I want to adapt to change, I can adapt to it. I think I can. But its hard when people are turning their backs on you especially the ones that matter. Seriously, I don't know what I did wrong. I'm just minding my own business. I was just being myself so how can I be casted into a shadow of guilt? Fuck it, they don't really care about you....

Not everything is about you.......................

My Solitude

Wouldn't it be nice if life were as calm as this.

Ended On A High Note.

I am a sailor lost at sea teased by the luring of different harbours. I don't want to go anywhere. I'm enjoying my ride with the wave eventhough it can be rough on me sometimes. That wave is you.

Before I go any further, a late birthday shout out to Lolly. I did text her on her birthday. And welcome home Pystar who's back for good. Thanx for d Millie's. Hehe

Anyhow, going to have our last handball training today before the arrival of the holy month Ramadhan. There might be some late night training (late as in 9pm onwards) during d fasting season. Check out d handball blog for updates.

I haven't been feeling well lately. Probably because of the confused weather, haha confused ani bah. Yes! Confused weather! You read it right. Anyway, maybe its because of some other late night activities, which by the way, is NOT what you are thinking. If I'm right on what I think you think I'm talking about :p

We were blinded to see what other people see on us.....

I Need To Go Away.........

But I don't think I can make it anywhere but here....

Totally Tuesday

Dinner with the girls after handball. Era's first training after months long hiatus. Welcome back to the handball scene babe. Welcome back to War too, saturday lagi ah. Hehe =)



Handball training was great especially after the long hard day at work, it was good to de-stress and prepare myself for a new tomorrow. Haha apakan! But seriously it felt good to let the anger out. Humph! I think I'm pms-ing. I have another class tomorrow at 10 and then again in the afternoon. Huarghhh!! Can my life be anymore exciting?

Shed a little light cos its getting complicated.........................

Colourful Equipments

Excuse the quality of the picture. Its mobile blogging not photographing.

Was trying to read through my lecture notes for the BLNG course but ended up shading the diagrams instead. Intellectual stuff ehy?

Tuesday is my busiest day of the week. Classes are for the whole day which is keraaazzziiieeeee but I guess I'm handling it well so far. On top of that, there's handball after work which I'm not complaining about and probably the only highlight of my day besides some other stuffs that shall not be mentioned. Haha apakan!

I haven't been playing hockey in ages. Not because of handball but entah ah. So Lolly has been bugging me to come for training which I'm still deciding. Its not as fun as its used to be anymore. A lot has changed since the previous coach left. Not saying that the current coach is not good its just that the atmosphere are not there anymore. I'm still trying to put together the little pieces of excitement I used to feel.

Show me a way to be...............

A Different Perspective

A calming view lying down on the sidewalk. Hehe

Post 4.30pm Activity

After a long hard day at work, this is our remedy....

Another Package To Deliver........

I was approached by the HOD to take half semester of the BLNG consultancy course this September. I have to say although the pay is good but I'm a bit reluctant to take it as I've already have 2 other subjects this semester. Unfortunately, I still have to take it as there's no other lecturer who is urmm.... eligible to teach this subject. Haha! For the consultancy course, 2 lecturers are assigned to teach one subject, one in the first half of the semester and the other towards the end. So I managed to persuade my other colleague to take the first half of the semester so I'll have more time to prepare for the classes. Hehe!

The subject for the consultancy course is a bit different from what I usually teach as it has more theory rather than calculation in it. I guess its similar to what I did last time. So I need to polish up my knowledge on the theoretical side to suplement the lecture better. The question is will I have time to want to do so? :)

Weekly Routine

This is how my timetable looks like this semester. I just noticed that I have all afternoons occupied except for saturday. Yikesss! I'm not at my best in the afternoon. Fortunately, I only have one early morning class which is great. So I guess I loses some and win some. Hehe apakan!! I thought it would be difficult to teach two different subject simultaneously in the semester but I'm coping well with it.

Anyway, the students nowadays are more cheeki-er but they are still good students. Although I've been complaining a lot about work and how mundane it is. Somehow, when I was there standing in front of them, teaching, I feel like I belong there. Its like this is what I'm meant to do. Its just the other part of the profession that is killing me. Hmm! The students never failed to make me smile. Although once in a while, they do get in my nerve. But somehow they can sense it jua and they tried to make it all ok in their own cheeky way. Hehehe! I'm refering to the seniors by the way, the new intake are urm......okay I guess. There are some good students but a few gets into my nerve all the time. We'll see how their results go in the exams.

On another note, I think I have the coolest people in my department in the institution. They just rock! Feel like family! Nyeahhhhh!! I gotta run..

It left unspoken.................

Fast End A Slow Start

I'm so lazy dat I need a good kick on d back to make me move forward. Even with the kicking I doubt I'll be making much progress. Had a quick glance at d lecture slides for tomorrow. Just need to thoroughly read through it and some other little background stuffs. I'm yet to decide which lab to do but I'll think about it tomorrow. The next paragraph is not work related.

I must say I'm much more settle now. A little bumpy along d road once in a while but I'm feeling much better. Its much more clearer to me and much much more easier. Its hard to get our life back on track once it shifted but we have to do it nonetheless. Otherwise, we are just going to drift further and further away. Heh heh!

Why should we stop the only thing that feels so right?

What's Cooking 4 Monday?

25 slides of lecture to go through. There goes my weekend. Hmm!

Let's RUN Together..........

I found a new song to listen to every seconds of my day!!! Hahaha! Sad banar bunyi nya! I can get easily hooked up to listening to just one song if I like it very very much which in this case I weally weally like it very very much!!!! It suits the genre I really love...the slow indie rock kinda music. A few days before this I can't stop listening to Thirteen Senses' Into The Fire....but now its Snow Patrol's Run all the way baby!!! *Grins*

Snow Patrol - Run

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
....................................................................

Now is it a great song or what? Hahaha I think that shud be it for this morning or even today. I wanna bury myself into this song today :)

It's beautiful and so sincere........................

An Unexamined Life Is A Life Not Worth Living...

I feel like I need to take up the challenge. Unhide myself from my safety blanket for once. Get out of the comfort zone and face life at its purest nature. I only live once right so why not I take it to the fullest. Live on the edge, makes myself worth living. I need it. I need it to feel alive.

All I need is a sign......

Jobless

Having a go at mobile blogging. Photo taken using my SE Hp with built in Blogger thingy. Nice!!! I so much love..........

Take It All Away..........

Its really really cold today. I'm so not liking how my day went so far. Though I enjoy cold weather but today it just adds to the coldness and emptiness I'm feeling. No specific reason really. I think I woke up to the wrong side of bed.

Lab is less in an hour. Haiyaaaaaaa!!! I so don't liiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Will try to post more later. For now, I'm out!

Its either you get a new job or a new life..........

edited//

Lab was ok this morning. Could have been better if more students were willing to participate instead of acting all cool and whatever. By the end of the day, durang jua yg tesangkut tu. I've seen many so please act up! Hehe marah! Tau udah I got off the wrong side of bed they are teasing my patient some more. Huargghhhh!!

Anyway, I've been getting some comments from a friend regarding the nature of my posts lately. She said 'its mysterious and creepy!!' Hahaha! Creepy??! What the...!! Anyway, I don't know I just wrote whetever I feel like writing. So its basically the mood I'm caught in the moment of posting. So I think I owe her a normal kinda post which is what I'm trying to do now. I don't want to scare her off being creepy and all although I know she's hooked!! Hahaha! i guess its driving her nuts with me writing all those stuffs.

Silliness at Its BEST!

Ya know...I can be so silly sometimes. Its too bimbo its embarrasing. I had to do a water bath experiment this morning. The apparatus was being used earlier by another lecturer. I were to get the water boiling from room temperature however since it was being used earlier the temperature of the water was around 80 Celcius. So since the water was already 80 degree was kinda stunned of what to do next. Bangang to the max!! I mean if you want to increase the water temperature just boil it and wait. But what if you want to decrease the temperature so you can start the experiment over again. So I told the students that we can't do the experiment cos of the obvious reason only to complain to a colleague later in the office about it and his respond was 'Why didn't you just throw the water away?' Toink!!! Bimbo banar!! Hahahaha!! Actually, to make a stand for myself, I was kinda caught up in the whole experiment thing cos I deals with compressors and evaporators and in these cases, throwing off whatever is not possible. How silly is that to overlook at the simple things to do just because............

So I have to retake the class on saturday for them to finish off the experiment. Huhu! Have to stay back after 12 but don't think it will take that long anyway so I should be done in less than an hour. Cari pasal bah! Ani pedah2 plang ada class lagi on a saturday afternoon!! Lunch time even!! Errkkkkssssssssss

Whip it all away................

It Goes Unnoticed.....

It sucks sometimes to not be the upper hand. Its frustrating to have d ball in ur court without knowing what game ur playing.

For once.....

One of Those Days....

I'm running out of things to say. Not that I'm clueless or whatever at the moment..ok ok I am a bit clueless but I've been trying to find new things to talk about instead of....well you can see from my previous post that I've been a bit under the weather. Ok ok...maybe not a bit.

(30 minutes later....) I still don't know what to talk about. Things that I wanted to are the most things that I cannot say. Hmmm! Anyway, this post acts as my obligation to Wano who bugs me for update. Though she had an interesting comment regarding my posts. Hehehe!! Maybe I should start taking photos...at least ada jua kan d liat d blog ani. Hmmm :)

Ohh I bought a new phone a week ago. Its a Sony Ericsson Walkman (I forgot the serial number!) I love it. I love it to the max! The walkman feature has been a sanctuary for me to be on my own space even when there's people around. This is anti-social at its best. So if you want to be one..buy the SE Walkman series. Be anti social be cool! Haha apakan!

The final year project list for the students are out already. Unfortunately, one of my study, the investigation of wingtip vortices of aircraft with and without winglet has been denied as we don't have a wind tunnel apparatus for high speed simulation experiment as intended. So I'm left with one project only and that is the Air conditioning ducting system for the PLINT A/C Experimental Bench in one of our labs. I already have two students who were interested to do the aircraft project but I guess I couldn't do anything about it. I could though suggest another aircraft related project but then since nobody ask me to proposed another one so I'll be content with just one project. Tapi kesian ku jua anak dua orang atu...krg frust menonggeng drg. Hmmm! With The A/C, this girl keeps coming back to the office to tell me that she booked me for the project. Ada jua main booking rupanya....huhuhu! Ahh! Students! They can be adorable sometimes hehehe

On a string..............

Its A Choice I Have To Make.........

..........and its a hard one. I wish I don't have to make decision like this. Its hard and it is emotionally draining. I don't know what's left of me now.....

People makes choices, they make mistakes. But I can't afford to make one this time. I have to make the right one. The one that I'm not even so sure of. I've given all my might comprehending everything. I never succeed.....

A palm reader once said to me...'at one stage of your life, your life will completely change, maybe for the better or otherwise' Her words constantly ring in my ears....

All I need is a one good reason..........

I'm Sorry That I Could Not Be As Perfect As You Wanted Me.....

Among the crowds I found myself with my thoughts alone....

Just A Thought....

What if you never get to have the thing you wanted the most.

Day Two and Counting...

Had my last physio yesterday morning and talked to one of physio there regarding my progress. He's such a bubbly and funny guy. Whenever I asked him a question he'd go 'You want a happy or unhappy answer?' So I asked him how long will it take for my shoulder to fully heal and I chose to listen to a happy answer, he said 2 weeks. Great stuffs! I asked him, 'Then, I can play next weeeek?' Unhappy answer, a simple no. It actually took two months for a muscle injury to heal and regenerate itself. So I have 4 weeks to do that which means I'll be sweating, trying to keep my feet off the court. Haiyaaa! I think I can do it..haha! After all, I have to think of the long term otherwise it will be a recurring injury. But four weeks?? Bahapa tah ku tu??

Anyway, do you know that being human is tiring? Its good but its tiring :)

Its Either You Need A New Life Or..................

I hate being the decision maker. I hate having the ball in my court. Its exhausting! It really is. Life has been similar to a ride of rollercoaster..its been tiring and exhilarating at the same time. I'm truly exhausted in all aspects. Started work on saturday after my 4 days mc...shoulder is getting better though I know I still can't play yet..not in the couple of weeks but I'm soooooooooooooooooooo tempted. So I might play...then again I might not.

We lost in the handball final by a margin of two goals to nil by the way, didn't get to play in the final due to the sustained shoulder injury. I was a bit dissapointed with that but tomorrow is going to be a better day, so I was told to remember. SiGh!

Shed a little light cos its getting harder to comprehend..................

You're Just Like The Moon Only Brighter......

The question of the week has been 'Will the stars shine tomorrow?' The knock-out stage of the 1st Brunei Handball Tournament is scheduled tomorrow. The final placing of the women's table is not final yet as Nakotta and Black Pearls haven't play against each other. The top four standing can change so we don't know who will play against in the semi until Nakotta and Pearls play. We've been inviting our friends and students as well to come support us. It'll be good publicity for handball as well. I'm still nursing my pinky and thumb injury and to add salt to it, my arm is quite strainful.

Anyway, til monday. lets hope we'll win. Amin! I'm actually using my cousin's internet connection without her knowing so I gotta make it a fast entry :) By the way, everyone is welcome to come to MPH to watch the finals of the handball, it will start at 2. Shooting Stars supporters please wear black and red. Hehehe!

Edited...

Just got back from Pantai Jerudong meliat fireworks with my little cousins and siblings. It was fun especially with lots of kids in the wheeler. As Nora said, kids are easily entertained and I couldn't disagree any less. In case you are wondering, I have permission of using my cousin's Wani laptop now. Hehe! Anyway, I'm sure you will not be surprised if I tell you that all day long I have been thinking about handball..tomorrow's tournament exactly. I'm quite satisfied with where I am now and how I play but anything is possible. I might fucked up when it really matters. But hopefully not. I'm not as nervous as I was earlier in the day..I think I'm more focused now which is good cos it drives the nerves away. Then again maybe this focused state of mind is temporary since I'm considerably occupied with other things especially tonight. Today's training was ok, though we didn't get to do much as a team as not all were present but individiually we managed to improve our skills. I think! Hehehe. Oh! good thing is I don't have to worry about sleeping in late tonight as the game starts in the afternoon nonetheless I'll have to make sure that I won't oversleep.

On another note, August is coming near and there'll be some honest and thorough decision to be made. I have yet to decide on it and with little time left I'm basically clueless. Then again, if I choose to accept it if offered then I guess my life will change almost drastically. Then again there's my family to consider. Can it get more tougher than this? If in case the offer is not there then its ok..its life as usual. But I've been thinking bah, you know when I'm dead or old and if someone were to ask me something like ''What did you do when you live? Anything great or something like that?' Then I'm afraid the answer will be a dissapointing no. I feel like I need to take charge of my life..do what I want to do and enjoy the most. I need to be kept on my feet constantly..I need some new challenges. Macam wouldn't it be cool if my answers were to be 'Yes, when I was working offshore in China, we were caught in a middle of a typhoon' or something like that. Okay...I know I'm weird but that gets my adrenalin running. Heh! I better stop now. Need to get home and rest for tomorrow.

The ball is in your court...........

The Stars Are High...........

This is a long overdue post that I intended for some time around last week after the handball tournament. The internet connection went haywired in the middle of posting so here it goes:

I have not been busy the past days that I've ignored this blog. I was deprived away from internet access even during work cos I've been spending most of my time not in my office at work. Hehe! Anyways, the group stages for the handball tournament was a total success on monday. The Shooting Stars lead the ladies' table standing with 13 points and are through to the semi final. Our semi opponent are yet to be known as Black Pearl and Nakotto has a game in hand. The Brunei Times has been doing a good coverage since the beginning of the tournament so a special thanx to the reporter Amelia. She doesn't know bout this site but nonetheless.....

Click here for news from Brunei Times

So You Sailed Away

There's a lot of things been going on the past week mostly with handball. The first Brunei Handball Tournament will kicked off on the 16th at the Multi Purpose Hall, with round robin matches for both men and women's group. The finals date has yet to be confirmed due to some difficulties with the venue. There's a lot of other tournament and events coming up so I'll be difficult to get an available space for the finals, even worse, for trainings as well. We've finally agreed on our team's name for the tournament and we are now called the Shooting Stars.

I didn't get to train and play a lot lately during the handball sessions mainly because I don't want to overstrain my injuries which up til now consists of my right thumb and pinky finger, my right ankle and my left knee. Hahaha! So most of the time I was helping the STPRI team for the upcoming game. Although they did play handball for their ECA a few times but relative to the other teams they are still new. Unfortunately, there is little time to teach them all the basics so all that can be done for the tournament is for them to play in a very tactical manner. Did gave them few hints and tips, and a little bit of dirty play but hey! they really need it. So haha! yeah..hopefully, they'll improve in the next couple of days. However, if the keep on training regularly and I hope they will, they have vast potentials as they are still young and energetic.

I got to run..............