A Tale from the Past

I almost forgot that I have an account with MySpace. Thank goodness I only need my email to log in so that was easy or else, I don't think I'll remember its user ID. I was reading through the stuff I wrote in my blog back then and when reading this one particular entry dated Friday, 31st November 2003, I was immediately absorbed into how I felt at that moment, writing the entry. I remember the fear I had that day for no reason at all. My outcry:

Troubled Me
Today's not a good day for me..been feeling so worried and anxious. This morning right after sahur I was kinda looking out of the window and I saw the cloud around bandar area was like red...and it looked so scary. It was a sign good enuff to tell me that today's gonna be a slow and not so good day. I'm a believer that way. I havent been feeling like myself either...I've been staying in the office the whole morning doing some works trying to ease my disturbed mind. Humph! Mum called this morning..asked me to write a letter and to text the ustaz cos she's got a bad dream last nite which adds more to my anxiousness. Asked wat the dream was but she wont tell..he he he! Other than that...nothing much has been going on..stayed in yesterday..didnt feel like going out. But I'm hoping that I'll go out tonite. At least I can chill with my mates and try to put this feelings aside. I've also realised that life is not as perfect as we want them to be and its not easy as it seems..DOH!! haha but yeah once in a while I need to know that. I have a feeling that for this coming few days my worries will still be there. There's so many factors that contribute to this but its just too messy and everything looks so vague and I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I'm a paranoid!!! Maybe this is a sports withdrawal syndrome..I dunno!! =/ Its a beautiful day outside...clear blue sky with patches of clouds...tragic I'm feeling this way - End-

This is a reason why I started blogging 'again' so that even if I don't remember a thing, this blog shall be an account of my life. A reminder for me when I've forgotten. A remembrance of the what I used to be, how I felt, of how my life was, a remembrance that among the turbulence of life, I managed to find my own sanctuary.

I'm always misunderstood............